Alliteration/Rhyme

The degeneration of this nation has led to the generalization of a hateful nature. Could, would you, should you be so rude. Would you, should you, could you be less crude. Vulgarity, hilarity; a certain lack of clarity. This world hurled into a curled up mass of class and crass clashes of ass...holes. Fast fact; you're all dumb, you effin' bums. Alright I'm done; wasn't this fun?

Somewhere Between Bittersweet and Disconnected

Here I am again,
shelling out these emotions.
Seems like a commonality by now,
just another statistic in this world.
How sick I've become of these emotions.
They sink in the bottom of my stomach,
eating away at me from the inside.
Love is like a poison,
or is it oxygen?
I can't really remember anymore,
it's too late either way.
Whatever it is,
it's taken over me.
The feeling I get when I see you,
when I'm near you.
It radiates within me every time you come over.
I shell out all this shit onto my blog,
bombarding people with my emotional baggage.
My love knows no bounds,
for you my eternal partner.
Why do I believe this?
This common falsity.
You are not my eternal partner,
you are not my destiny.
If you were,
you ignored your true path.
Over 4 years of pain and suffering.
I withheld these feelings until it was too late.
And now they're rehashed,
fresh like the day they first came over me.
I want to be done with them.
I want to forget them like it never happened.
I want them to be washed away like the sun washes away the moon in the early dawn.
Please god,
take them away from me.....

The Ultimate Weapon

The human mind,
what a wonderful thing.
Right?
Isn't it just lovely?
Don't you just want to spend all your time with it?
Of course you do.
Of course you would want to do that.
Because the human mind is our friend.
Because the human mind is what makes us live.
It's what pumps blood,
keeps the organs moving.
Makes our systems run in tip top shape.
It doesn't cause hatred.
No no no, that's others faults.
It doesn't cause war.
No no no, that's religion's fault.
Politicians' faults,
not our fault.
No no no no no no.
The human mind is completely safe.
Totally safe.
The human mind doesn't cause pity.
Self loathing and general disgust.
That's the media's fault.
The human mind is our friend.
It's our one true one.
Really.
It is.
I promise.
Nothing will ever separate us from it.
Even though it's the worst weapon in the world.
Even though it causes everything that is wrong with the world.
Even though it's the ultimate weapon,
an everlasting zeitgeist among our population.
But we'll keep thinking it's our friend.
When really it's an enemy.....

Human Conundrums And Ultimate Struggles

We as a sentient life form are imperfect.
Face it.
We are not perfect.
Think about all the hatred,
the war.
All the famine, the anger,
the pollution, the death.
All the problems we cause.
All the issues we start.
All because we try too hard to be perfect.
We try to perfect that which can not be so.
We try to perfect that which has no right to be perfect.
We are imperfect,
we were made that way.
Somehow, somewhere.
The switch has been flipped.
We can not be perfect.
We will never be perfect.
So why do we keep festering on and on,
why do we try so hard?
Why do we believe in a fate impossible to achieve?
Because it is the path that we are lead on,
so blindly.
We are deaf to the answers,
we will never be what we so desire.
The meaning of life is imperfection.
Didn't you know that?
Stop making more conundrums for yourself,
Stop trying to be perfect.
You are who you are,
Imperfect.
Because you were made that way.
Life is full of meaningless things,
but one thing holds all meaning, and that is creation.
So just hold onto that one thing.
That one thing in this life that can't be taken.
Your imperfection.
Yourself.

Thinking About Nothing And All the Parallel's In Between

What do you know about time travel?
Is it difficult to wrap your head around?
What does anyone know about anything for that matter.
We know not of our fate,
of our path in life.
We know only what we see in front of us every day,
from each step we take to the things we eat.
We know we're going to die,
at some point, someplace in time, and in some way.
We know that.
We know that because it's happened,
not because it's just known.
See what I see?
We know what's happened,
but never what hasn't.
But who's to say we can't?
Who's to say we don't?
Who's to say we aren't all living a dream,
in a simulated machine.
Who's to say we're not the parallel,
that's right, the parallel.
Of course, I'm talking about dimensions.
Who's to say we're not the parallel one?
Who's to say we're not the clone of another man,
someone who has lived already.
Possibly someone who's dead somewhere,
but alive right here, where we live.
In one dimension we're perfect, healthy, alive.
In another, dead.
Who's to say we're not all the walking dead clones,
of some experiment gone wrong.
Who's to say we're not all parallel's,
and the real you is there staring at you.
Watching you.
Correcting.
Judging.
Remarking.
And corrupting....

Renewal

My mind is a waterfall,
constantly trickling out thoughts.
Some happy, some sad.
Some bittersweet, some just plain mad.
I can not control them.
I can not connect them.
They just come.
They just come.
They pour out like blood out of an open wound.
I would like to make them all happy.
I would like for them  to all be good.
Why can't I control my thoughts?
Why must you take hold like this sometimes.
I want to be happy about us.
I want to be happy about this.
I need to be happy about us.
I need to be happy about this.
You love me.
And I love you.
Isn't it kind of funny?
How we feel the same,
yet we don't....

Abandonment

And so the night went away,
and it slowly turned to the day.
I can't lie to you my dear,
The night filled me with fear.
Fear that you would never come back,
Fear that you would never want back.
I feared I may lose you,
Never be able to hold you again.
But then I realized I just needed a way,
a way to flip the switch.
The switch that decides what I want,
what I need.
I flipped it to the point where it should be,
the point you want it to.
I want to be truthful to you,
it isn't easy to hold it there.
I feel it grinding against the gears,
igniting my mind sometimes.
Though it burns at my mind,
eating away my subconscious side.
I realize without this switch,
without this position.
I would be abandoned.
I want nothing of the sort.
I want no part of that.
I will keep the switch there,
I will push it in that position and lock it.
For abandonment is akin to loneliness,
and I believe I have enough of that to fill an empty void....

Deprivation

Think what you want.
Feel what you need.
Do what you feel.
And push for yourself.
Mind no others.
Mind yourself.
Care not for opinion.
Opinion breeds jealousy.
Jealousy is spite.
Spite bred hatred.
Hatred is nothing.
Hatred is weakness.
Weakness is emptiness.
Emptiness is sorrow.
Do not be sorrowful.
Think what you want to think.
Feel what you need to feel.
And push for yourself and no one else.
For without these emotions,
are we really losing anything worth having in the first place?

Survival

Hearts wrench in a new nation,
founded on the bases of disgust and hatred.
What could we ever be?
What could we ever do?
We is no longer the collective.
We is just the dawn of this new age.
So many problems that children will have to face,
so much pure disgust and anguish.
Accomplishments are seen far and few between,
and the faces of the many outweigh the few.
The few that are too shy to go out,
the few that are too shy to make a change.
The ones that hide in the corners,
The ones that bleed themselves dry then die.
The ones that have to weigh the pros and cons,
The ones that have to decide if they'd rather live in this nation, or die.
These are the people who need our help.
These are the people who need love.
Compassion.
Devotion.
Strength.
Willpower.
Motivation.
Drive.
These are the people we must care about,
for they care not for themselves.
Will we let them silently bleed?
Will we let them cower up into the shadows?
This nation already does it.
What's another year or two gonna do?
Yeah.
Keep telling yourself that,
we'll see how well it goes....

Still Urging

Your nails were so deep inside me,
digging into my soul and not just my body.
Exhilarating just to feel you next to me,
hold you close to me.
My arms wrapped around your body,
still holding onto everything I love.
It's not a want.
It's a need.
I need to feel you so close to me,
I need to feel your soul mix with mine.
I want to make love to you,
let your body become the canvas for my love to display itself.
Oh the love I feel for you,
it's overwhelming at times.
But as I sit here writing,
I know what I need.
I need your soul dear.
I need your body and your mind.
I need you to submit and let me have you.
I need everything and nothing all at once.
I need your love....

Wanting. Needing

The tears, oh yes they came.
Dropping out of my eyes like rivers.
The strength increasing as they dropped.
I could have gone for hours,
Buried myself in pity.
But for what goal?
It wouldn't help with anything.
It would only make the pain worse.
So I sit here,
drowning.
My heart is a pit,
And the void isn't filling.
But this is a time for recovery,
To stitch up the wants inside me.
This is a time for healing.
You came upon me like a tidal wave,
Flushing my desires out of me.
I couldn't have this anymore,
and when you left, it killed me.
As I write this,
fighting back the tears.
I only hope that you'll read it,
and understand my pain.
I loved you Katie.
But it's time to move on.
It's time for me to accept,
this fate.
Thank you for all the happiness you brought me,
however short lived it was.
I felt alive.
I felt engaged.
I felt loved.
But it's time to move on.
I have to move on.
So this is my note of recognition,
to seal these emotions away forever.
I only hope the seal doesn't break.....

Inner Demons

The skin seems to tear open at the seams,

But I see no real ripping.

The tears of flesh and my feeble bones,

Are only on the inside.

Peeling me from within,

Ripping at my insides with claws.

All the blood rushing to my head,

As I slowly begin to black out.

Where am I now?

What is this place?

Solitude.

Alone with just my thoughts,

They begin to transform into shapes.

This mesmerizing metamorphosis baffles me.

Awoken.

By the shuttering thought that came over me just then.

The thought that within me,

Such forms existed.

Were my eyes betraying me?

Did that ugliness really come from within me?

The clawing returned,

Scratching away my consciousness once more.

Floating in a dead space,

Panic begins to surface in me.

The form was returning,

But growing, multiplying before my eyes.

I could feel the burning sensation from within.

But, wasn't I passed out just then?

I awoke from this slumber,

Drenched in sweat.

Was it really all a dream?

Or was it my subconscious trying to warn me.

Warn me of what lies dormant within me.

Those inner demons that scourge me....

Inspiration

I'd like to take a moment,

Just a single moment of your time.

Now I've been writing on here for a long time. And as you may already know, I'm not exactly frequent in the amount of things I post. Now you may be asking yourself, why? Why is it that this mysterious man just writes these things at random intervals with no real care in the world? Why does he just sit at his computer and manipulate words as if it's some sort of game? Because dear readers and friends and family. Inspiration comes from within oneself, with inner enlightenment. Oneself can only be defined by what is inside of their heart, mind, and soul. I do not care for enlightenment by way of others works. The inspiration I gain is not borrowed, because I gain it from my every day experiences, from within the light that illuminates the crevasse between my subconscious mind and my psyche. I pull these inspirations from my heart, and I break them down painstakingly with care, into the finished products that you read here. It is not an easy task, and in order to actually write something, I must metaphorically bleed onto the keyboard itself. I feel like inspiration is a wonderful and magical thing, but too much of it can be overbearing, and may serve consequence. A quantitative amount of inspiration does not outweigh a quality amount of it. So please, I encourage you to dig within yourself, through every crack and crevasse, and pull out the things you fear the most. Things you find the most awful, decrepit, disgusting, or vile. And ask yourself, can I describe this, or does this describe me? 

Silence

The clicking of the clock,

Tick tock tick tock.

The thumping pulse in your chest,

Bump bump, bump bump.

The silent ringing that fills your ears,

And the noises that fill you with fear.

Silence.

What's that, you may ask yourself.

Wonder, wonder, panic, panic.

Thoughts rush to fill your head.

Stress levels rise.

The epitome of fear, is silence.

Alone with your thoughts.

Alone with your inner demons.

What evil will befall you in this cold and lonesome place.

There's no one around to hear you here.

There's no one around to see you here.

Every sound, is an alarm.

Every sound is a sign.

Every sound is a demon.

Every sound is fear itself, reaching up and clenching your subconscious.

Why does silence hurt so badly.

Why do the sounds pierce this veil and cut like a thousand blades through your chest.

Silence at night is like a watchful companion.

They strike together, to kill you.

The silence claws at your psyche, breaking you down to your raw nerves.

The darkness aids in this monsters escape, jumping into reality.

You created this beast, now get rid of it.

Pierce the veil yourself.

Scream.

Scream.

SCREAM!!!

There, now isn't that a lot better.

No, no, it isn't.

Silence is like a cancer that will never be cured.

That scream did nothing.

You're pathetic.

The silence will come once more to reap what is so rightly his.

To once again slip a veil over the tattered reality you call your subconscious.

Feel your heart beat rising.

Feel your temperature boiling to a killing point.

Feed your demons with this power.

Because everything you've ever done wrong is so free here.

In this void of nothing.

We're all a little dead inside....

Aren't we?

Conformity

In this ever changing landscape we call Humanity,

Is there ever any real freedom?

Do you think to yourself?

Or do you think for others?

Do you control your processes,

Or process control.

Can this world ever be anymore than just a mass of similarities,

Cut from the same rugs and the same ancestry.

Your tastes may vary,

But your minds are all the same.

Pushing, rushing, overworking.

The mind pulses as one massive organ.

Pumping, processing, pulsing through all this mass information.

Databases, corporations, everyone,

Just one big mind for the hive behind us all.

Quivering beneath all of this we are.

Crushed and overturned by these feelings and thoughts we try to have.

We can't break free.

We're stuck out of control.

Why can't we just be free?

Why must this conformity continue?

Help us.

Someone.

Help us.

Dead Emotions

The air is stale and cold around me,
stuttering my every breathe.
The world seems to shatter from its axle,
falling before my eyes.
I will never be perfect.
I will never be good enough.
I tell myself this every day,
slowly dying inside.
But what if the emotions are lying?
What if this defeat means nothing.
What if....

The Fog Consumes

This thick mucky mist controls.
The devil holds the key to perception.
The world is covered in a blanket few can see through,
everyone musters up the courage to peak out, into the dark night sky.
What does one see here?
One must know of blindness before they know of sight,
one must know of fear before they know of courage.
We all must stand to face this monster.
The monster lurks in the shadows, watching, judging.
This is your worst fear, incarnated into one being.
This fear is unlike anything you've ever experienced.
It will eat your soul if you let it,
it will devour your body and keep you there forever.
Go looking in the mist of the devil for something, and you'll never come out.
You will be trapped forever in this silent place.
The hell that awaits you is eternal, and complete,
The mind's perception is shattered here.
You can see only what you produce, what you believe in,
the monsters are projections of your own fears.
The blood in this town is putrid, it smells of rust,
Industrialized and mechanized.
The eternal everlasting trap is sprung again,
if you wish to leave, you will do as you are told.
Let this town lead you to your freedom, or let it trap you,
Will you be here forever?
Will you be alone to wander in the streets of this cursed place eternally?
Or will you starve your emotion,
will you starve the fog itself?
Let the fear disappear; slowly dissolve into the murky deep.
Take away that fog's source of power; your emotions.
Let the fog starve until it dissipates.
Lift the veil from this town forevermore,
leave Silent Hill as you came, with these emotions.
Push open the veil, and disband this place.
Don't let this fog consume your soul......

Mirror

What horror is reflected here?

The mirror stares back,

haunting my mind.

This dimension beyond ours,

is this a portal?

Can it come after me?

Will this demon forever haunt me in this hell....

I stand there, alone, my reflection staring through me.

The demon mimics my every move,

but still I feel it's presence.

What form of torture is this?

Psychological terrors befall me here....

This gateway laughs at my fear.

I turn away and it mocks me.

I.... Must..... Smash this portal......

Destroy the gate between him and I.

Will I destroy myself in this process?

I have no choice beyond this point.

I must go through with it.

I must destroy this demon..... even if it hurts me...

One last laugh,

one last goodbye.

A note, a will.

Destroy this demon,

but is it really a demon.....

Or is it just me,

staring at myself in horror.

Before I plunge the knife into my throat,

ending my life forever.

Parting  is such sweet sorrow indeed......

Future Vision

What does the future hold,

what will it tell.

Will we all be fake,

made from manufacturers profiting off of reality.

Will the world be a dome,

controlled by scientists.

Either way, the world is ever changing,

evolutionary scales continue to grow.

The ever lasting chain is cracking,

losing its finite bond.

Here we are,

hanging in the balance.

Ever lasting rotations,

spinning endlessly.

Until the rotation breaks off,

and we hurdle into failure.

Falling off this endless chain,

our fates will be sealed.

I can hear that dead space calling,

waiting for a void to be filled.....

What a perfect size we are.....

Society

The generations come and go,
for why, we do not know.
This world is one big boiling pot,
cultivating in the middle of a giant gaping planetary hole.
The stars mysteries are never truly solved,
nor the puzzle of life.
What kind of life can you lead,
what life?
It all comes together in this grand scheme,
a false, negative sight.
Society is one big mess of people,
we can not conform.
We're broken, beaten.
What comes of our generation,
what will be known for.
The generation of contemporary disgust,
complete annihilation of historic language.
The meme's of our time, and of the past,
left to boil in this giant mixed up stew.
But ask yourself....
What will come next.