Abandonment

And so the night went away,
and it slowly turned to the day.
I can't lie to you my dear,
The night filled me with fear.
Fear that you would never come back,
Fear that you would never want back.
I feared I may lose you,
Never be able to hold you again.
But then I realized I just needed a way,
a way to flip the switch.
The switch that decides what I want,
what I need.
I flipped it to the point where it should be,
the point you want it to.
I want to be truthful to you,
it isn't easy to hold it there.
I feel it grinding against the gears,
igniting my mind sometimes.
Though it burns at my mind,
eating away my subconscious side.
I realize without this switch,
without this position.
I would be abandoned.
I want nothing of the sort.
I want no part of that.
I will keep the switch there,
I will push it in that position and lock it.
For abandonment is akin to loneliness,
and I believe I have enough of that to fill an empty void....