Deprivation

Think what you want.
Feel what you need.
Do what you feel.
And push for yourself.
Mind no others.
Mind yourself.
Care not for opinion.
Opinion breeds jealousy.
Jealousy is spite.
Spite bred hatred.
Hatred is nothing.
Hatred is weakness.
Weakness is emptiness.
Emptiness is sorrow.
Do not be sorrowful.
Think what you want to think.
Feel what you need to feel.
And push for yourself and no one else.
For without these emotions,
are we really losing anything worth having in the first place?

Survival

Hearts wrench in a new nation,
founded on the bases of disgust and hatred.
What could we ever be?
What could we ever do?
We is no longer the collective.
We is just the dawn of this new age.
So many problems that children will have to face,
so much pure disgust and anguish.
Accomplishments are seen far and few between,
and the faces of the many outweigh the few.
The few that are too shy to go out,
the few that are too shy to make a change.
The ones that hide in the corners,
The ones that bleed themselves dry then die.
The ones that have to weigh the pros and cons,
The ones that have to decide if they'd rather live in this nation, or die.
These are the people who need our help.
These are the people who need love.
Compassion.
Devotion.
Strength.
Willpower.
Motivation.
Drive.
These are the people we must care about,
for they care not for themselves.
Will we let them silently bleed?
Will we let them cower up into the shadows?
This nation already does it.
What's another year or two gonna do?
Yeah.
Keep telling yourself that,
we'll see how well it goes....

Still Urging

Your nails were so deep inside me,
digging into my soul and not just my body.
Exhilarating just to feel you next to me,
hold you close to me.
My arms wrapped around your body,
still holding onto everything I love.
It's not a want.
It's a need.
I need to feel you so close to me,
I need to feel your soul mix with mine.
I want to make love to you,
let your body become the canvas for my love to display itself.
Oh the love I feel for you,
it's overwhelming at times.
But as I sit here writing,
I know what I need.
I need your soul dear.
I need your body and your mind.
I need you to submit and let me have you.
I need everything and nothing all at once.
I need your love....

Wanting. Needing

The tears, oh yes they came.
Dropping out of my eyes like rivers.
The strength increasing as they dropped.
I could have gone for hours,
Buried myself in pity.
But for what goal?
It wouldn't help with anything.
It would only make the pain worse.
So I sit here,
drowning.
My heart is a pit,
And the void isn't filling.
But this is a time for recovery,
To stitch up the wants inside me.
This is a time for healing.
You came upon me like a tidal wave,
Flushing my desires out of me.
I couldn't have this anymore,
and when you left, it killed me.
As I write this,
fighting back the tears.
I only hope that you'll read it,
and understand my pain.
I loved you Katie.
But it's time to move on.
It's time for me to accept,
this fate.
Thank you for all the happiness you brought me,
however short lived it was.
I felt alive.
I felt engaged.
I felt loved.
But it's time to move on.
I have to move on.
So this is my note of recognition,
to seal these emotions away forever.
I only hope the seal doesn't break.....

Inner Demons

The skin seems to tear open at the seams,

But I see no real ripping.

The tears of flesh and my feeble bones,

Are only on the inside.

Peeling me from within,

Ripping at my insides with claws.

All the blood rushing to my head,

As I slowly begin to black out.

Where am I now?

What is this place?

Solitude.

Alone with just my thoughts,

They begin to transform into shapes.

This mesmerizing metamorphosis baffles me.

Awoken.

By the shuttering thought that came over me just then.

The thought that within me,

Such forms existed.

Were my eyes betraying me?

Did that ugliness really come from within me?

The clawing returned,

Scratching away my consciousness once more.

Floating in a dead space,

Panic begins to surface in me.

The form was returning,

But growing, multiplying before my eyes.

I could feel the burning sensation from within.

But, wasn't I passed out just then?

I awoke from this slumber,

Drenched in sweat.

Was it really all a dream?

Or was it my subconscious trying to warn me.

Warn me of what lies dormant within me.

Those inner demons that scourge me....

Inspiration

I'd like to take a moment,

Just a single moment of your time.

Now I've been writing on here for a long time. And as you may already know, I'm not exactly frequent in the amount of things I post. Now you may be asking yourself, why? Why is it that this mysterious man just writes these things at random intervals with no real care in the world? Why does he just sit at his computer and manipulate words as if it's some sort of game? Because dear readers and friends and family. Inspiration comes from within oneself, with inner enlightenment. Oneself can only be defined by what is inside of their heart, mind, and soul. I do not care for enlightenment by way of others works. The inspiration I gain is not borrowed, because I gain it from my every day experiences, from within the light that illuminates the crevasse between my subconscious mind and my psyche. I pull these inspirations from my heart, and I break them down painstakingly with care, into the finished products that you read here. It is not an easy task, and in order to actually write something, I must metaphorically bleed onto the keyboard itself. I feel like inspiration is a wonderful and magical thing, but too much of it can be overbearing, and may serve consequence. A quantitative amount of inspiration does not outweigh a quality amount of it. So please, I encourage you to dig within yourself, through every crack and crevasse, and pull out the things you fear the most. Things you find the most awful, decrepit, disgusting, or vile. And ask yourself, can I describe this, or does this describe me? 

Silence

The clicking of the clock,

Tick tock tick tock.

The thumping pulse in your chest,

Bump bump, bump bump.

The silent ringing that fills your ears,

And the noises that fill you with fear.

Silence.

What's that, you may ask yourself.

Wonder, wonder, panic, panic.

Thoughts rush to fill your head.

Stress levels rise.

The epitome of fear, is silence.

Alone with your thoughts.

Alone with your inner demons.

What evil will befall you in this cold and lonesome place.

There's no one around to hear you here.

There's no one around to see you here.

Every sound, is an alarm.

Every sound is a sign.

Every sound is a demon.

Every sound is fear itself, reaching up and clenching your subconscious.

Why does silence hurt so badly.

Why do the sounds pierce this veil and cut like a thousand blades through your chest.

Silence at night is like a watchful companion.

They strike together, to kill you.

The silence claws at your psyche, breaking you down to your raw nerves.

The darkness aids in this monsters escape, jumping into reality.

You created this beast, now get rid of it.

Pierce the veil yourself.

Scream.

Scream.

SCREAM!!!

There, now isn't that a lot better.

No, no, it isn't.

Silence is like a cancer that will never be cured.

That scream did nothing.

You're pathetic.

The silence will come once more to reap what is so rightly his.

To once again slip a veil over the tattered reality you call your subconscious.

Feel your heart beat rising.

Feel your temperature boiling to a killing point.

Feed your demons with this power.

Because everything you've ever done wrong is so free here.

In this void of nothing.

We're all a little dead inside....

Aren't we?